[Stella's daily confessions. I dare to confess, i love to express & i live to impress]

Saturday, June 11, 2005

if i never get outta S'pore, i would have still been stuck in the narrow & tiny world of mine. when i get stuck at somewhere, probably i will just remain there..not knowing how to try to take a step & walk further. To find a new source of light.

I told Ceres baby yesterday that 2005 to me, is a year of coping with losses. My graduation from TP after long-awaited years (lost a status as a student), lost a relationship that i thought was forever & lost a best friend who went to Algeria in search for her dreams. However, i did realized that while coping with these losses, i gained many new things in return. I gained a new self, a new perception of life, a bunch of new friends & a smile. So instead of moaning over the losses, i thank god for the new stuff that has been introduced into my life. I will always remember this phrase while i was reading Mitch Albom 'The five people you'll meet in heaven' in Canada, & it's so vivid in my mind. "Every ending always have a new beginning."

The things i've learnt, the things i've seen..they widen my horizon. They really did. Nothing can beat the real life experiences that one gained for themselves. Its priceless. That is why my parents couldn't understand why i am so eager to go back to Canada again next year & they thought that i'm crazy. Neither do they know it has left an impact on me that they never could have felt, or realized my new perceptions in sucha short period of time. That is life! Life is all about anticipation & welcoming every situation that's gonna either ruin or make your life better & knowing that it wouldn't stop there. Mould you or break you & that all depends on thyself. All i know is that if i had given up hopes at that point of time when i was devasted, i could never have gotten to live a dream, see a beautiful world, left my footprints there & picked up memories. Then, u will start to realize, nothing else matters but happiness.

Why walk. when you know that there is a deep hole right in front of you?

Why tear. when you know that happiness will be out there somewhere?

Why stop. when you know that life is always a journey of advancement?

Why delude. when you know the truth out there?

Why worry. when you know that some things are just a passing stage for you to learn?

Why procrastinate. when you know actions could bring you more gold than harm?

Why lie. when you know that 'what goes around comes around' in karma?

These are the questions pondering in my mind. I think it would be a good way of solving any problems i encounter.

i cried my heart out at 7:27 PM