Monday, October 31, 2005
Alyssa, i saw your ROM pictures in the hotel. It's beautiful. Very nervous that day yea.
Very stylish & modern ROM. The pictures of the rings were taken so beautifully too.
What a great feeling to be dressed in a wedding gown yea. And all that hype & fun & excitement. =)
Sigh, envious man..I don't think i'll have the chance to wear a wedding gown for a real wedding. Okay, bridesmaid for other weddings maybe i'll have the chance. Laughs.
Congrats! U are the fastest in our clique to be bought from the shelves. I'm gonna be the one that expire & still remain on the shelves. Haha. I meant serious biz lah. Pressurizing u know, seeing all of you slowly getting married and then the next time talk about education for babies. Sharks. I can't imagine that. I will talk about my teddie then. Haha.
I don't seem to be able to picture myself getting married. A big sigh! All your fault, now u make me feel i'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life. Haha, nahz not blaming yea, nudging you..enjoy your marriagehood!
Alyssa, i saw your ROM pictures in the hotel. It's beautiful. Very nervous that day yea.
Very stylish & modern ROM. The pictures of the rings were taken so beautifully too.
What a great feeling to be dressed in a wedding gown yea. And all that hype & fun & excitement. =)
Sigh, envious man..I don't think i'll have the chance to wear a wedding gown for a real wedding. Okay, bridesmaid for other weddings maybe i'll have the chance. Laughs.
Congrats! U are the fastest in our clique to be bought from the shelves. I'm gonna be the one that expire & still remain on the shelves. Haha. I meant serious biz lah. Pressurizing u know, seeing all of you slowly getting married and then the next time talk about education for babies. Sharks. I can't imagine that. I will talk about my teddie then. Haha.
I don't seem to be able to picture myself getting married. A big sigh! All your fault, now u make me feel i'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life. Haha, nahz not blaming yea, nudging you..enjoy your marriagehood!
i cried my heart out at 10:22 PM
Thank u Mr T. I finally saw the msg you wanted me to see.
My initial reaction..Grrr..then i laughed.
I think u must be so proud of your msg that is different from others. Okay folks, many of you don't know the story. I was telling T about how lame the pick-up lines of the messages in my friendster can be. Some mentioning that my dressing is very 'stylo milo' so T came up with a pick-up line for me. I told him that i won't reply back to such msges & he said that if he write something, i will bound to reply back. So indeed, i wanted to hammer u. Nahz, just kidding.
Btw, its normal for T to call me a bitch. Haha. And im used to it, cos he like to call his good gal friends 'bitches'. So don't be shocked. Er hem, he just love being mean cos he said he don't want to be like other guys who try to be sweet to me.
hi itchy b-itchy
are u the girl who is always wearing e jacket in the
canteen even if its so freakin hot?
do u feel hot ?
do u even feel anything?
wat? u are not cold blooded are u?
why are u always walkin ard with a cup of milo,
lookin stylo milo?
can i have an order as well?
one milo ice, table 213, near the PE side where i
join the PE guys to gawk at u.
Applause. T, Proud or not. Haha.
Also the girl that told me that a guy in her group is crazy over me, or the comment about the gorgeous thingy is not referring to u who made the comment. Ugh..my friends said it so openly & loudly that day in class and my lecturer was there. Hope she didn't hear it, i would be so embarrased. I don't know who that guy is. Don't wish to know either.
i cried my heart out at 6:14 AM
i had a huge shopping spree with my parents today!
Shops after shops..Spent few hundreds of dollars, especially on my mum's clothes.
The money was well spent i must say, cos after sloughing so much for her work, spending some money to pamper herself is definitely not a sin.
I was her fashion consultant, choosing clothes for her & hissing at the clothes that are totally off. She was very satisfied with all that shopping, afterall, i was telling my mum 'your ATM is here', pointing at my dad. My dad joked back 'Sometimes the ATM doesn't function properly'. Glad that my mum has pretty clothes to wear for her trip to Taiwan.
But it was really funny. Cos on one side my dad was paying for my mum's shopping & on the other side i was doing some shopping as well, looking for clothes to wear next year for my teaching practicum & my mum had to pay for my shopping. I will pay you back, i grinned to my mom. My mum was nice 'Buy for you, do you think you are very rich, going to Japan still wanna pay me back'
I was eyeing on my puma bag for quite some time. I was hesistating whether to buy it now or next month cos my expenses pretty high this month but my mom told me to go and get it. So i bought it, erm i meant my mom bought it for me! =) Yeah! Cos i was intending to bring it to Japan. My dad bought me clothes too. Happy thou but i don't feel so good. I hope to return them the money when my pay rolls in. With that sum of money, my mom can buy even more clothes for herself.
It definitely feels like pre-xmas.
My mom said that i gotta go for a flu jab soon, cos travelling is pretty dangerous nowadays. Ugh, i'm so panicky now. I hate jabs. They had to take the jabs too, cos i guess Taiwan is not that safe either.
I will have to pack my luggage soon. It will take me a long time to decide what to put it in, & squeeze my coats into one luggage. Shinpai shinaide onechan, i'll only bring one luggage with me. I won't cramp up your place.
i cried my heart out at 1:47 AM
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Something to trigger you. Anyone who is in the same profession as me.
It left me with goosebumps & deep-rooted memory. Hope it does the same for you.
'Teaching is the profession that teaches all the other professions.'
'The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.'
William Arthur Ward
'Teaching is leaving a vestige of one self in the development of another. And surely the student is a bank where you can deposit your most precious treasures.'
Eugene P. Bertin
'The task of the excellent teacher is to stimulate "apparently ordinary" people to unusual effort. The tough problem is not in identifying winners: it is in making winners out of ordinary people.'
K. Patricia Cross
'Don't try to fix the students, fix ourselves first. The good teacher makes the poor student good and the good student superior. When our students fail, we, as teachers, too, have failed.'
Marva Col
'Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task.'
Haim G. Ginott
And one last quote that i've learnt & always bear in mind so much so that i like to spread to many:
'If a student cannot learn the way we teach, we'll have to teach the way he learns'
Good luck respected teachers.
People who think i do not have the capability to teach because of my mentality, be assured that i'm different when it comes to my students on hand. I'll ensure that the burning flame in them is lighted through my passion for them.
I do not create students in my own image but i develop students who can create their own image.
I believe, a great teacher need not have ultimate passion for the content but an excellent teacher must have overwhelming passion for the students. I'll prove those who think otherwise wrong.
Something to trigger you. Anyone who is in the same profession as me.
It left me with goosebumps & deep-rooted memory. Hope it does the same for you.
'Teaching is the profession that teaches all the other professions.'
'The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.'
William Arthur Ward
'Teaching is leaving a vestige of one self in the development of another. And surely the student is a bank where you can deposit your most precious treasures.'
Eugene P. Bertin
'The task of the excellent teacher is to stimulate "apparently ordinary" people to unusual effort. The tough problem is not in identifying winners: it is in making winners out of ordinary people.'
K. Patricia Cross
'Don't try to fix the students, fix ourselves first. The good teacher makes the poor student good and the good student superior. When our students fail, we, as teachers, too, have failed.'
Marva Col
'Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task.'
Haim G. Ginott
And one last quote that i've learnt & always bear in mind so much so that i like to spread to many:
'If a student cannot learn the way we teach, we'll have to teach the way he learns'
Good luck respected teachers.
People who think i do not have the capability to teach because of my mentality, be assured that i'm different when it comes to my students on hand. I'll ensure that the burning flame in them is lighted through my passion for them.
I do not create students in my own image but i develop students who can create their own image.
I believe, a great teacher need not have ultimate passion for the content but an excellent teacher must have overwhelming passion for the students. I'll prove those who think otherwise wrong.
i cried my heart out at 5:45 AM
I received a gift from my Church mentor, a new bible that will allow me to understand God's words better. Geez, i felt so bad that she bought me a new bible just because i find it quite hard to comprehend at times & bought me one with the meanings & messages. She wanted to bless me with it thus did not want me to pay her back. I will go to Japan & find something nice for her.
Rufhie & her are so sweet. I have in all 3 thick bibles at home. All blessed from people. Domo arigatou gozaimashita ne!
I received a very 'me' aussie brand of billabong/ripcurl wallet from aussie. Yippee. Bundaberg rum fudges tasted sweet but resembles rum & raisin. Yummy. And all that freshly flown stuff from France that i asked Milo dinosaur to get it for me. I could smell France when i open the stuff. Haha.
It felt like Xmas. A time of receiving. Winks.
i cried my heart out at 12:00 AM
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Love the sand..
Love the sand..
i cried my heart out at 11:25 PM
I had a splendid time today. Time was well spent! I hope everyday would be like a joyful day for me.
I went to Sentosa at noon with my distant cousin today. It has been five years since we last met. Boy, time just flew past us. We could still remember the last time we saw each other, at Winebar zouk counting down for Xmas & i was only 18 then. Sigh,reminiscing my 'teenage' years. It seemed far & unreachable.
We played frisbee with his friends, chit chat & i was contemplating whether to suntan cos the other time i've got painfully burnt hence once bitten twice shy. But Samuel was urging me so i did tan alittle & so i'm reddish now 'again'.
I met my cousin Amy in the evening to get her new handphone. i was starving badly so we went for Thai express & to our joy, Bangwei & Amy's friend joined in. CK is back from France & Bangwei just came back from Aussie (*humph*), haha but i've got freshly flown Aussie gifts!! Yea!! It's very nice & i like em! Merci beaucoup.
Looking at CK, i can't help but think of my milo dinosaur because we will always meet up for supper at Bukit timah & have milo dinosaur & tissue prata together. So he offered to drive us there & the four of us had a good time chatting & laughing. So carefree. Amy & i will always be so amused by all the jokes.
CK, a weird name yea cos it's a chinese name & i find it hard to pronouce so it ended up to be a nick for him, but it has been changed to 'Milo dinosaur' from today onwards cos all of us noticed that each time i see his face, i'll crave for Milo. We have decided to go to karaoke together soon. ;)
i cried my heart out at 10:51 AM
One two step. Canada flip flop vs Havanas
i cried my heart out at 9:59 AM
Samuel building sand castles & giving a mischievous look.
i cried my heart out at 9:50 AM
my favourite picture. It's my precious flip flop & my pedicure! :)
i cried my heart out at 9:49 AM
blur picture of moi in Sentosa
i cried my heart out at 9:48 AM
so bollywood. Chuckles. I forced sam to wear the shades cos he just dont wanna open his eyes in the glaring sun.
i cried my heart out at 9:41 AM
Samuel's friend, Jen. I feel we have got a retro look in this pic..haha. And my hp resolution is really unclear.
i cried my heart out at 9:38 AM
Moi & my cousin, Samuel. At Sentosa
i cried my heart out at 9:37 AM
Thursday, October 27, 2005
I'm born with baby fats.
sobs.
i want to lose weight.
I'm born with baby fats.
sobs.
i want to lose weight.
i cried my heart out at 7:53 AM
korean actress that i love.i cried my heart out at 7:23 AM
i think she is drop dead gorgeous
i cried my heart out at 7:19 AM
Pretty feets. From left, Rufhie, Stella & Sherry
i cried my heart out at 2:16 AM
Another candid post.We have been taking too much 'Nerds' sweets in class. Goody two shoes, me & woofie..
i cried my heart out at 1:53 AM
i cried my heart out at 12:49 AM
This is a pic candidly taken with my buddie,Woofie during class. Hee..We were like, hey lets take a picture & it just goes snap without preparations.
And thats my new short hairstyle. :|
Today, we had our last lessons with my sophisticated Korean Professor. She is so sweet, during the last few minutes of the lesson, she took out her camera & wanted to take a picture with us.
Im gonna miss her. Hmm, do i sould a little les here..Chuckles. Nahz.
The pictures we took with her with my phone is simply too tiny. So there is no use posting up cos you can't see the faces but bodies. Next time we'll take a better pic with her.
i cried my heart out at 12:32 AM
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Funeral for five days.
Going down tomorrow.
Funeral for five days.
Going down tomorrow.
i cried my heart out at 5:13 AM
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
This is the famous 'Chocolate' i'm always talking bout. Lazily lying on my cousin's arms...Woof. Cute?
This is the famous 'Chocolate' i'm always talking bout. Lazily lying on my cousin's arms...Woof. Cute?
i cried my heart out at 8:32 PM
School finally 'seems' over..
I'm on cloud 9
Except that i have to write an educational psychology essay for the time being
Almost all modules have ended, so practically i don't have to go to school
I gotta make use of this time to write a good essay
U don't know how intrinsically unmotivated i am towards Psychology.
I will miss all the beautiful professors in NIE. Beautiful as in true beauty..
A woman i look up to & admired. Dr So Hyo Jeong. The young, sweet yet classy Korean Professor(attained a Master's degree in the US), we'll bring kim chi to her meadows & have a party soon. She's so sweet to talk to, we even talk about Takuya kimura, Wong bin etc. We'll love to converse & learn korean language from her.
And also another young beautiful Manga japanese comic look alike Professor from Taiwan who have big eyes that sparkle & sweet looking face.
We are indeed lucky to have beautiful professors to teach us. Woman who are charming & intelligent,attained Masters degree. Wow. It makes them 'sexy'. Cos women with brains to me, are extremely alluring. Bimbos, just don't get a second glance.
i cried my heart out at 8:41 AM
Hayaku mite...kore mite..Kisu Onechan
i cried my heart out at 7:53 AM
Monday, October 24, 2005
I've exams tomorrow but i was outta in town, shopping & strolling with my cousin & Rachel. Well, we didn't plan to shop initially, we had the intentions to have a hair cut together. Hehe.
Poor stylist, she had to serve three of us at one go. And because we only trusted my stylist, we had to take turns. I never had sucha expensive haircut before. The bill came up to $150 odd just for the three of us, just for haircuts alone. But we were left satisfied,so i guess it's worth the wait & money.
I think it would take me donkey years to have my long curls back. I miss my curls alot but i would maintain this length for the time being becos i do like them too. Right, im confusing you.
We took a bus home, & one seat was left vacant so i told my cousin to sit down cos she didn't sleep the whole night. Then she said 'You sit, you should be taken care of & pampered'. I gasped hysterically. Cos i just heard the same phrases just yesterday. I asked in awe 'Do i really have the face that states 'dote on me??' She said yea by looking at you, people will want to pamper you. My heart almost died. I really didn't know & its so weird to hear such comments not just one but many. I always thought otherwise. It's kinda heartbreaking. Really..cos i want to have that independant girl face. Looks like i failed in doing so.
I'm born with that face is it..the abandoned kitten type of look..meow..I should learn to rid it. Zettai!
I've exams tomorrow but i was outta in town, shopping & strolling with my cousin & Rachel. Well, we didn't plan to shop initially, we had the intentions to have a hair cut together. Hehe.
Poor stylist, she had to serve three of us at one go. And because we only trusted my stylist, we had to take turns. I never had sucha expensive haircut before. The bill came up to $150 odd just for the three of us, just for haircuts alone. But we were left satisfied,so i guess it's worth the wait & money.
I think it would take me donkey years to have my long curls back. I miss my curls alot but i would maintain this length for the time being becos i do like them too. Right, im confusing you.
We took a bus home, & one seat was left vacant so i told my cousin to sit down cos she didn't sleep the whole night. Then she said 'You sit, you should be taken care of & pampered'. I gasped hysterically. Cos i just heard the same phrases just yesterday. I asked in awe 'Do i really have the face that states 'dote on me??' She said yea by looking at you, people will want to pamper you. My heart almost died. I really didn't know & its so weird to hear such comments not just one but many. I always thought otherwise. It's kinda heartbreaking. Really..cos i want to have that independant girl face. Looks like i failed in doing so.
I'm born with that face is it..the abandoned kitten type of look..meow..I should learn to rid it. Zettai!
i cried my heart out at 4:09 AM
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Sad to annouce...i bought a new handphone today. Sigh. I have been trying to use all the old handphones ever since my panasonic died on me. But i guess all the hps were going against me by playing dead too & forced me to get a new one. I didn't get the model i like cos its pricey, a handphone means nothing to me but making calls & sms. Gone were the days when i look for phones with all the great functions. Nevertheless, this new gadget does all the work & i'm kinda contented with it.
Expenses for this month is escalating. It always happen when i have alot expenses for a particular month, something will be damaged or run out & i'll have to purchase em. Doesn't that happen to you too? Sigh. Amy's friend went to France recently & we were asking him to get our favourite brands from there cos it's cheaper..Haha. So imagine buying in bulks gonna cost us quite an amount.
I have to admit that gettin all the winter clothing for this month drained my salary away. So no more luxury for me til next month. Amy reminded me that i might need a pair of boots to walk in the snow. Urgh. I regretted not buying em in Canada. I was eyeing on a pair of high knee boots & Bernard was psychoing me not to buy cos he said 'When will you ever have the chance to wear in Singapore?' I retorted 'I might be going Japan in december'...but i wasn't sure so he said 'Forget it'. Oh boy.
Alright 'Sensei', i have to say that cos i'm a Chinese right? But being a Chinese & Cheena have totally different meanings. Its alright..i'm not that mad anymore cos it's a perception coming from a girl who doesn't like me(practically wishing to see me dead), so heckit. Internal peace, trying to reach for that.
Sad to annouce...i bought a new handphone today. Sigh. I have been trying to use all the old handphones ever since my panasonic died on me. But i guess all the hps were going against me by playing dead too & forced me to get a new one. I didn't get the model i like cos its pricey, a handphone means nothing to me but making calls & sms. Gone were the days when i look for phones with all the great functions. Nevertheless, this new gadget does all the work & i'm kinda contented with it.
Expenses for this month is escalating. It always happen when i have alot expenses for a particular month, something will be damaged or run out & i'll have to purchase em. Doesn't that happen to you too? Sigh. Amy's friend went to France recently & we were asking him to get our favourite brands from there cos it's cheaper..Haha. So imagine buying in bulks gonna cost us quite an amount.
I have to admit that gettin all the winter clothing for this month drained my salary away. So no more luxury for me til next month. Amy reminded me that i might need a pair of boots to walk in the snow. Urgh. I regretted not buying em in Canada. I was eyeing on a pair of high knee boots & Bernard was psychoing me not to buy cos he said 'When will you ever have the chance to wear in Singapore?' I retorted 'I might be going Japan in december'...but i wasn't sure so he said 'Forget it'. Oh boy.
Alright 'Sensei', i have to say that cos i'm a Chinese right? But being a Chinese & Cheena have totally different meanings. Its alright..i'm not that mad anymore cos it's a perception coming from a girl who doesn't like me(practically wishing to see me dead), so heckit. Internal peace, trying to reach for that.
i cried my heart out at 6:54 AM
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Zai jing zi qian mian, wo shi ge bei ai de nu ren
(In the mirror, i seemed like a woman whom is being love)
Ta jiu zai men wai, ze ge zhou mo, wo ke yi zai ta de xiong huai
(He will be mine for this weekend, i'll get to lie in his arms again)
Zai qing ren mian qian, wo shi ge dan sheng de nu ren
(In the world of love, i am just a single soul)
ai xue shao le yuan fen
(Love without fate)
wo xiang wo zhi nen yong qing zi sheng ,dan bu nen tai ren zen
(i wished to love wholeheartedly, yet knowing i can't fall too deep)
Wei shen me wo hai shi hai pa yi ge ren xing lai
(Why am i afraid of waking up alone)
rang ai bu ting xia lai
(Don't ever let the love stop)
wo bu hui yong yuan qing chun ke ai
(A woman's youth, will slip past quicklly)
wo he ni bu yao bu yao fen kai
(Me, & you will never ever wanna to part)
wo bu shi mei ci shi lian huo dou neng cong xing zai lai.
(I couldn't always pick myself up all the times when i fall)
My cousin was playing this chinese song by Coco lee repeatedly
It's very sad.
By reading the translation, you'll know its about a girl who loved a forbidden man.
A forbidden love story.
Zai jing zi qian mian, wo shi ge bei ai de nu ren
(In the mirror, i seemed like a woman whom is being love)
Ta jiu zai men wai, ze ge zhou mo, wo ke yi zai ta de xiong huai
(He will be mine for this weekend, i'll get to lie in his arms again)
Zai qing ren mian qian, wo shi ge dan sheng de nu ren
(In the world of love, i am just a single soul)
ai xue shao le yuan fen
(Love without fate)
wo xiang wo zhi nen yong qing zi sheng ,dan bu nen tai ren zen
(i wished to love wholeheartedly, yet knowing i can't fall too deep)
Wei shen me wo hai shi hai pa yi ge ren xing lai
(Why am i afraid of waking up alone)
rang ai bu ting xia lai
(Don't ever let the love stop)
wo bu hui yong yuan qing chun ke ai
(A woman's youth, will slip past quicklly)
wo he ni bu yao bu yao fen kai
(Me, & you will never ever wanna to part)
wo bu shi mei ci shi lian huo dou neng cong xing zai lai.
(I couldn't always pick myself up all the times when i fall)
My cousin was playing this chinese song by Coco lee repeatedly
It's very sad.
By reading the translation, you'll know its about a girl who loved a forbidden man.
A forbidden love story.
i cried my heart out at 8:16 PM
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Seemed like an earthquake in Japan is pretty normal & frequent. I wonder if i would feel the trembles if i'm there. *Shivers. Amy said she is gonna have short baths everytime in case a tremble occurs & we'll have to run & hide.
My sis has already met several earthquakes for the past few months. God bless.
And my sister met Sharon Au in Harajuku while shopping & they took a picture together. Laughs. What a small world. And yes Onechan, she went there to study..Well, she finally realized her dreams..that makes me feel even more determined to strive for mine as she waited for donkey years to be there.
Ne,Onechan..nihon totemo abunai! Kowaii ne demo shikata ga nai ne. Buchan wa nihon e ikimasen. buchan kireii dayo. hehe, jodan dayo. koto no shashin wa mada torimasu. Chotto ato ne. Ima okasan isogashii dayo ne, raishu ni shimasu.
Seemed like an earthquake in Japan is pretty normal & frequent. I wonder if i would feel the trembles if i'm there. *Shivers. Amy said she is gonna have short baths everytime in case a tremble occurs & we'll have to run & hide.
My sis has already met several earthquakes for the past few months. God bless.
And my sister met Sharon Au in Harajuku while shopping & they took a picture together. Laughs. What a small world. And yes Onechan, she went there to study..Well, she finally realized her dreams..that makes me feel even more determined to strive for mine as she waited for donkey years to be there.
Ne,Onechan..nihon totemo abunai! Kowaii ne demo shikata ga nai ne. Buchan wa nihon e ikimasen. buchan kireii dayo. hehe, jodan dayo. koto no shashin wa mada torimasu. Chotto ato ne. Ima okasan isogashii dayo ne, raishu ni shimasu.
i cried my heart out at 6:47 AM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
I wanna believe....
..that there is a time for everything...
stated in the bible....
I want a time to work...a time to play
a time to laugh...and a time to weep...
...a time to be alone...a time to have company...
I am patiently waiting for the time...
to do what i have to do....
Meanwhile i will use the time to enjoy the process of reaching to it...
I wanna believe....
..that there is a time for everything...
stated in the bible....
I want a time to work...a time to play
a time to laugh...and a time to weep...
...a time to be alone...a time to have company...
I am patiently waiting for the time...
to do what i have to do....
Meanwhile i will use the time to enjoy the process of reaching to it...
i cried my heart out at 8:46 PM
Yeah!! 3 presentations are finally over and one more to go tomorrow...I feel a little more at ease but still all the individual reports are due next week. Its okay, i will be able to endure the last week of school. =)
I had my microteaching yesterday & i was a little tensed but the class was very amicable to me, my dear...I'm surprised at how my classmates behaved & did not try to make things difficult for me. We were video-taped while teaching & when the lecturer replayed the video for us to see, everyone gasped & hate to see ourselves on TV. I had to replay the video a few times to scrutinize for my weaknesses & strengths. I think i portrayed myself too much as an approachable teacher that my students love to express funny views & the whole class would laugh along, including myself. Though i thought it was fun, and its okay for teachers to laugh with the students, maybe i should be firmer. The way i asked my students to keep quiet *slaps myself* was too gentle. But at least, all my instructions were all followed. I feel that my students will still listen to me even though they can see that i can be bullied. My tactic.
Today, we had to role-play for a presentation & i had to act as a rebellion. To make the situation worst, i was given a name called 'Lian huay'..Laughs. Cos its Ah lian & Ah huay...hahaha. It was so difficult for me to act like a brat. I was folding my arms, tapping my feet, ignoring & being rude to the teacher, asking my friends to shut up etc & i was practically bursting into laughter while acting,so were the class. Tsk tsk, don't ask me to act especially when i have to do the things i don't normally do. After the class, my friends were still calling me Lian huay. What a name. But well, its meant to be amusing. The teacher was named 'Miss Piggy', so in short, we call her 'Miss P'..hehe.
Phew, no more NIE soon. And i'll be posted to the school next year..Jus don't post me to a girls' school. Haha. Don't ask me why but i think it would be extra fun in a mixed or boys school, maybe the challenge is there.
i cried my heart out at 7:09 AM
Sunday, October 16, 2005
I'm turning into a poor little cat. My mom is gonna help me change to japanese yen soon & my savings gonna crumble!!!
My mom was calculating the money that i've spent & goin to spend & that sorta freak me outta little. (But still its worth every cents to me that makes me happy) Mom nagged at me to save up for next year trip to Aussie, Melbourne & then to New Zealand. Upon hearing that, my heart shattered knowing that i'm gonna use my savings again but owells, no pain no gain.
It's funny how my mom always say its fortunate enough to travel once a year to a faraway place for few weeks or a month but i will always tell her 'don't worry, i will have the money to travel' til when it happens & i'll have to part with my dough, i feel that sour pinch in me. Nevertheless i'll still do it. I'm sad to say i busted a little of my savings this year on all that long periods of travelling..but i'm estatic. I'm even looking forward for more next year. Isn't it ironic.
Next year, if Rac is in France, i would join her & plan for another long trip. It's good to make early plans yea. If not, i am thinking of US for few weeks, but who would go with me....plan k
I'm turning into a poor little cat. My mom is gonna help me change to japanese yen soon & my savings gonna crumble!!!
My mom was calculating the money that i've spent & goin to spend & that sorta freak me outta little. (But still its worth every cents to me that makes me happy) Mom nagged at me to save up for next year trip to Aussie, Melbourne & then to New Zealand. Upon hearing that, my heart shattered knowing that i'm gonna use my savings again but owells, no pain no gain.
It's funny how my mom always say its fortunate enough to travel once a year to a faraway place for few weeks or a month but i will always tell her 'don't worry, i will have the money to travel' til when it happens & i'll have to part with my dough, i feel that sour pinch in me. Nevertheless i'll still do it. I'm sad to say i busted a little of my savings this year on all that long periods of travelling..but i'm estatic. I'm even looking forward for more next year. Isn't it ironic.
Next year, if Rac is in France, i would join her & plan for another long trip. It's good to make early plans yea. If not, i am thinking of US for few weeks, but who would go with me....plan k
i cried my heart out at 1:11 AM
Saturday, October 15, 2005
It's my cousin 21st birthday party today. Seeing her crowding around her friends and being a busy host reminded me of my 21st birthday last year. Sigh..a year has passed so quickly. My birthday scenes were still vivid. Everyone close & dear to me were there, so sweet. Too bad, it will never come by me again.
It was quite like a doggie's party too. There were many doggies..including naughty Chocolate. And it's so cute having to see so many doggies running around & playing with one another. I realized, my phobia for dogs has tremendously dropped. All thanks to Chocolate, i see her everyday & she will occasionally pounced on me when i'm not on guard and loves to greet me each time i reach home & lick my leg. I played with two Shih tzu...aaw, they are just my sweetheart. Chocolate is cute too, but i prefer Shih tzu to jack russels. I couldn't believe that the two Shih tzu was walking in circles around me & i was in awe instead of in fright. I even touched them, pat & played with their tails. They were irresistable like a furry teddie so i carried them. Yes! I carried a Shih tzu in my arms..even though i've only seen them for the first time. I have yet to carry Chocolate cos she is hyperactive. =)
*how much is that 'doggie' in the window, woof woof*
I met Amy's friends at the Birthday party, all the guys at our age & they were passing around 'Eh, she is a teacher, 'Secondary school teacher you know' and then stared at me & said 'She look like a little girl'. It's not that bad til Amy told them that i'm her elder cousin & they said i look like primary school girl. Its so exaggerating!! It ain't that bad. I never like telling people my profession. I'm prone to comments like 'your style? teacher?', 'u don't look like a teacher'.blah.blah. Enough. I don't want to be a teacher so i don't try to look like one. My cousin is celebrating twice, there will be another dinner tommorow. Work won't get done in that case. I want my holidays...*procrastinate* gimme less than 2 weeks & i shall be freed.
It's my cousin 21st birthday party today. Seeing her crowding around her friends and being a busy host reminded me of my 21st birthday last year. Sigh..a year has passed so quickly. My birthday scenes were still vivid. Everyone close & dear to me were there, so sweet. Too bad, it will never come by me again.
It was quite like a doggie's party too. There were many doggies..including naughty Chocolate. And it's so cute having to see so many doggies running around & playing with one another. I realized, my phobia for dogs has tremendously dropped. All thanks to Chocolate, i see her everyday & she will occasionally pounced on me when i'm not on guard and loves to greet me each time i reach home & lick my leg. I played with two Shih tzu...aaw, they are just my sweetheart. Chocolate is cute too, but i prefer Shih tzu to jack russels. I couldn't believe that the two Shih tzu was walking in circles around me & i was in awe instead of in fright. I even touched them, pat & played with their tails. They were irresistable like a furry teddie so i carried them. Yes! I carried a Shih tzu in my arms..even though i've only seen them for the first time. I have yet to carry Chocolate cos she is hyperactive. =)
*how much is that 'doggie' in the window, woof woof*
I met Amy's friends at the Birthday party, all the guys at our age & they were passing around 'Eh, she is a teacher, 'Secondary school teacher you know' and then stared at me & said 'She look like a little girl'. It's not that bad til Amy told them that i'm her elder cousin & they said i look like primary school girl. Its so exaggerating!! It ain't that bad. I never like telling people my profession. I'm prone to comments like 'your style? teacher?', 'u don't look like a teacher'.blah.blah. Enough. I don't want to be a teacher so i don't try to look like one. My cousin is celebrating twice, there will be another dinner tommorow. Work won't get done in that case. I want my holidays...*procrastinate* gimme less than 2 weeks & i shall be freed.
i cried my heart out at 7:14 AM
Don't Cha
Oh, baby dolls
I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around shes all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And in the back of your mind
I know you should be home with me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)
Leave it alone (leave it alone)
Cause if it aint love
It just aint enough to leave a happy home
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)
See, I dont care
But I know she aint gon' wanna share
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
I know I'm on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun
And I'm fine
I aint lying
Look at me, you aint blind
See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, Oh friend your'e secret is safe with me
i cried my heart out at 3:18 AM
Friday, October 14, 2005
I have been dying to get the travel bag that i wanted. So i went shopping alone today after school but it's sold out! humph..
I went for a massage & didn't know that my shoulder has been injured so badly..it swelled up after the person massaged it. It's probably due to the heavy bag that i had to carry to school everyday with my laptop. So much relieved after that.
I stumbled upon winter trench coats while strolling around and my gosh.......its extremely chic & nice!! I have been looking high & low for the past few days for nice winter wear & i finally found it! Just the colour,design, fabric & taste i have desired for! Geez..i am so pleased with it. It's very expensive but hahahaa..i got it at a good price. I'll also have to bring the few others that i bought from Canada to Japan, if not i'll freeze to death in the snow. I will probably buy leather gloves next month.
Onechan, u are gonna fall in love with my coats..trust me! My taste wont be wrong. Tempted to buy? Even Amy like them so much & she is getting them too!
I was laughing like a mad girl. Amy took the coat, walked like a supermodel, unzip, took off the coat, turned & posed. So farnie, really look like a runway model with the coat. Then i told her to do the other way..hold the coat with the finger at the back, turn a few rounds and she wore the coat while making a few unstable turns before flipping her hair away. And she was doing the catwalk with those funky hip hop songs. Then it was my turn to join in the fun. We bought 4 trench coats so we were like changing, posing and the whole family was laughing. So fun! =)
I have been dying to get the travel bag that i wanted. So i went shopping alone today after school but it's sold out! humph..
I went for a massage & didn't know that my shoulder has been injured so badly..it swelled up after the person massaged it. It's probably due to the heavy bag that i had to carry to school everyday with my laptop. So much relieved after that.
I stumbled upon winter trench coats while strolling around and my gosh.......its extremely chic & nice!! I have been looking high & low for the past few days for nice winter wear & i finally found it! Just the colour,design, fabric & taste i have desired for! Geez..i am so pleased with it. It's very expensive but hahahaa..i got it at a good price. I'll also have to bring the few others that i bought from Canada to Japan, if not i'll freeze to death in the snow. I will probably buy leather gloves next month.
Onechan, u are gonna fall in love with my coats..trust me! My taste wont be wrong. Tempted to buy? Even Amy like them so much & she is getting them too!
I was laughing like a mad girl. Amy took the coat, walked like a supermodel, unzip, took off the coat, turned & posed. So farnie, really look like a runway model with the coat. Then i told her to do the other way..hold the coat with the finger at the back, turn a few rounds and she wore the coat while making a few unstable turns before flipping her hair away. And she was doing the catwalk with those funky hip hop songs. Then it was my turn to join in the fun. We bought 4 trench coats so we were like changing, posing and the whole family was laughing. So fun! =)
i cried my heart out at 3:41 AM
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Looking at the intervals of my blogging posts, you'll know that i'm pretty busy.
However, admist of all that work, i managed to go for pedicure & manicure yesterday with rufhie & had a satisfying japanese meal at a restaurant. It was 'finally' some relaxation time for us after school. I went back to my cousin's house, intending to start on some work but alas, my cousin was going for supper with her boss & i was craving for 'milo dinosaur'. Haha, so she urged me to go along with her for the famous prata shop in Bukit timah. We needn't travel, haahaa..it will always be her boss who comes & fetch us & send us home.
I can't help but feel gluttony..When the milo dinosaur came to me, i was extremely indulged in it that CK (Amy's boss) was laughing at me & said that i'm going to concentrate on the huge mug & not talk to them anymore. I also had tissue prata even when hours before, i had servings of sushi & udon. To make me feel more obese, Amy ordered roti john & ice-kachang. Sinful day.
Next week, 3 major presentations in a row. Having butterflies in my stomach but i'm not gonna be bothered. I do not intend to rehearse any of them. I guess everything is going to be very imprompt tu and say whatever that comes to my mind. 2 weeks down the road to a little freedom. That is what i'm excited about.
-do what i like, follow my passion, go after my dreams- my style. the name says it all.
Looking at the intervals of my blogging posts, you'll know that i'm pretty busy.
However, admist of all that work, i managed to go for pedicure & manicure yesterday with rufhie & had a satisfying japanese meal at a restaurant. It was 'finally' some relaxation time for us after school. I went back to my cousin's house, intending to start on some work but alas, my cousin was going for supper with her boss & i was craving for 'milo dinosaur'. Haha, so she urged me to go along with her for the famous prata shop in Bukit timah. We needn't travel, haahaa..it will always be her boss who comes & fetch us & send us home.
I can't help but feel gluttony..When the milo dinosaur came to me, i was extremely indulged in it that CK (Amy's boss) was laughing at me & said that i'm going to concentrate on the huge mug & not talk to them anymore. I also had tissue prata even when hours before, i had servings of sushi & udon. To make me feel more obese, Amy ordered roti john & ice-kachang. Sinful day.
Next week, 3 major presentations in a row. Having butterflies in my stomach but i'm not gonna be bothered. I do not intend to rehearse any of them. I guess everything is going to be very imprompt tu and say whatever that comes to my mind. 2 weeks down the road to a little freedom. That is what i'm excited about.
-do what i like, follow my passion, go after my dreams- my style. the name says it all.
i cried my heart out at 6:24 AM
Monday, October 10, 2005
Yea don't worry buds, i am not wanting to leave to escape from reality.
I just want a New experience. New life. U should know how much i love it elsewhere.
I'm going to work hard to achieve it. Whether or not i can reach the goals, i have prayed hard & would continue my prayers.
I will complete what i have started off as. And meanwhile try to attain all the certs that i want to.
I hope to get a BACHELOR now...not 'Bachelor' as in charming single men, but a Bachelor degree. Hope my dreams come true which also suggests that...i'm going to give myself extra workload. Sigh.
Yea don't worry buds, i am not wanting to leave to escape from reality.
I just want a New experience. New life. U should know how much i love it elsewhere.
I'm going to work hard to achieve it. Whether or not i can reach the goals, i have prayed hard & would continue my prayers.
I will complete what i have started off as. And meanwhile try to attain all the certs that i want to.
I hope to get a BACHELOR now...not 'Bachelor' as in charming single men, but a Bachelor degree. Hope my dreams come true which also suggests that...i'm going to give myself extra workload. Sigh.
i cried my heart out at 3:00 AM
Friday, October 07, 2005
I know deep in my heart, if i were able to go & start afresh in a foreign land, i would be happy. I don't mind doing it alone.
I want to leave Singapore for good. I want to forget every unhappiness that i have had ever since i was little.
I know i wouldn't be affected by people around me if i leave, cos there will be out of my sight, out of reach, out of my mind.
I know when i wake up, i look around me & see something different, knowing that the people i dislike or hurting me are thousands miles away, greeting someone new each day..that would be a life i dream of.
I do not have to be a successful career lady, I do not need to climb up the coporate ladder. I just need a simple new life in a new environment. Casting every barriers aside, i have to leave. I want to leave, so much so it's in my mind every second.
I am aware of how carefree i was in Canada, & seriously being there has never once made me think of a past that i hated most. I love the new environment, i embrace each day with a smile.
I'm going to do whatever it takes to be there. Bring me to a place where i really belong. It's going to be a slow process & i'll have to be tolerant. I WILL pursue it.
I know deep in my heart, if i were able to go & start afresh in a foreign land, i would be happy. I don't mind doing it alone.
I want to leave Singapore for good. I want to forget every unhappiness that i have had ever since i was little.
I know i wouldn't be affected by people around me if i leave, cos there will be out of my sight, out of reach, out of my mind.
I know when i wake up, i look around me & see something different, knowing that the people i dislike or hurting me are thousands miles away, greeting someone new each day..that would be a life i dream of.
I do not have to be a successful career lady, I do not need to climb up the coporate ladder. I just need a simple new life in a new environment. Casting every barriers aside, i have to leave. I want to leave, so much so it's in my mind every second.
I am aware of how carefree i was in Canada, & seriously being there has never once made me think of a past that i hated most. I love the new environment, i embrace each day with a smile.
I'm going to do whatever it takes to be there. Bring me to a place where i really belong. It's going to be a slow process & i'll have to be tolerant. I WILL pursue it.
i cried my heart out at 11:10 PM
To those who thinks that my thinking is a little way too far-fetched. I guess i know to a certain extent, i'm weird. I don't think like a human being. I'm alienated.
I had prata with Amy & her boss at Bukit Timah yesterday night & i'm glad that i talk to someone who has gone through many different experiences in life. I learnt alot, or should i say, he managed to grasp what i'm stuck at and throw a few open ended Q that triggers me to think. I didn't know i was that lost, til he pointed out the confusions i had. I went back, drew a mind map of my life & voila! I have a clearer picture of myself. I realized too, i didn't like myself that much.
Well, i also talked to two distant cousins of mine today & learnt a few things from them. I am surprised at how many people urged me to do that(hmm,keep it personal). They are very positive & encouraging. Thanks to all who gives me support & pushing. I'm very touched.
I went to collect my JAL air-tickets yesterday. It was a relieve to see the genuine air-tickets on my hand. It seems more realistic that i'm going to Japan. In less than 2 months, I wanna fly & i really want to be happy. Dear god, i pray that everything will go smoothly & safely. Amen.
i cried my heart out at 6:34 AM
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
School has been really hectic, wouldn't you agree with me? But something perk me up today! 3 weeks later would be the end of my NIE semester. Yeah!!! Hurray!!! Smiles!!! Grins!!! Chuckles!!! Phew!!! All the excitement towards the end of the school just rushes to me. My Adrenaline!! I have been enduring for a long time. Hmm, well, the time spent in NIE is actually very little, the semster is pretty short & i must admit that i'm still like a newbie in school. However, maybe the workload makes us feel like a thousand years have sailed past.
In November, i am not gonna slack though. I would like to fufil some of my little dreams that i've been wanting to achieve before i leave for a bigger dream to Japan. Every minute must be spent wisely & meaningfully. A person should have dreams, because having dreams will lead to the process of achieving goals. Perservance plus luck. That's what i hope i'll have.
U know, the month of Oct is the worst time for me & my fellow NIE teachers-to-be. Ever wondered how many assignments, reports, deadlines, exams etc are due this month? I dare not count them. I just know i'm trying to catch a breath everyday and sometimes missed that skip of heartbeat. I thank God for making the past two days enjoyable in school.
Why? Because we were given the opportunities to act as misbehaving students and test the patience or discipline strategies of our friends. It was an absolutely crazy time in class. Just imagine all the 'teachers-to-be' were acting to be sparstic, difficult, childish, rude and challenging & bullying the 'poor teacher'. Hee. Both the trainee teachers being tested almost gave up. They were actually laughing along with us too because the whole situation was hilarious & no discipline could have taken place. I am able to perceive the difficult times we are gonna get if we could act like the Sec 1 & 2 mentalities, the kids could do it better than us. The sitches in my stomach haven't recovered and i was one of the 'naughty' students giving a hard time to my friends. I better stop laughing, it will soon be my turn to be tested. Oops.
Sometimes, life just make it seem so hard. As you know, i never wanted to be an 'educator'. Yeap that's actually a word often used to describe teachers as well. But whenever they play videos of 'children struggling to learn despite their disablities & the teachers were having a hard time trying and learning to control kids with Down syndrome, Autism, low IQ etc' or 'teachers touching the lives of students & showing students' gratitude', i can't help but feel like i wanna do something, or even on the verge of tears. We were watching a video on a boy with Down syndrome in school yesterday & watched how the teachers try to cope with him in the class with other normal kids. It seemed helpless at first, the process was long & heartbreaking but finally when they showed him running on the fields during PE & his classmates were cheering for him, that moment freezed for me. I was extremely proud of him & could see how he enjoyed being in school even though he was 'different'. I had an overwhelmed emotion for that second. If i was there & i was his teacher, i would tear with joy & go over to hug him.
Maybe, probably, teaching is one of the most noble, meaningful & overwhelming profession in this world. What you give, you'll gain more in return. U gain a whole load of satisfaction when you see how happy your students are. I know that feeling. Been there & done that. It just becomes something that you feel that they are IN you & you are responsible for them. No wonder you see majority of teachers stay on in this line for sucha long time & never quit. They never say die...I respect them totally.
It's a rewarding profession than any other. In other professions, 'people live for themselves', they work for the money & get the best for themselves. In educating profession, we help people build lives & dreams. That's a major difference.
School has been really hectic, wouldn't you agree with me? But something perk me up today! 3 weeks later would be the end of my NIE semester. Yeah!!! Hurray!!! Smiles!!! Grins!!! Chuckles!!! Phew!!! All the excitement towards the end of the school just rushes to me. My Adrenaline!! I have been enduring for a long time. Hmm, well, the time spent in NIE is actually very little, the semster is pretty short & i must admit that i'm still like a newbie in school. However, maybe the workload makes us feel like a thousand years have sailed past.
In November, i am not gonna slack though. I would like to fufil some of my little dreams that i've been wanting to achieve before i leave for a bigger dream to Japan. Every minute must be spent wisely & meaningfully. A person should have dreams, because having dreams will lead to the process of achieving goals. Perservance plus luck. That's what i hope i'll have.
U know, the month of Oct is the worst time for me & my fellow NIE teachers-to-be. Ever wondered how many assignments, reports, deadlines, exams etc are due this month? I dare not count them. I just know i'm trying to catch a breath everyday and sometimes missed that skip of heartbeat. I thank God for making the past two days enjoyable in school.
Why? Because we were given the opportunities to act as misbehaving students and test the patience or discipline strategies of our friends. It was an absolutely crazy time in class. Just imagine all the 'teachers-to-be' were acting to be sparstic, difficult, childish, rude and challenging & bullying the 'poor teacher'. Hee. Both the trainee teachers being tested almost gave up. They were actually laughing along with us too because the whole situation was hilarious & no discipline could have taken place. I am able to perceive the difficult times we are gonna get if we could act like the Sec 1 & 2 mentalities, the kids could do it better than us. The sitches in my stomach haven't recovered and i was one of the 'naughty' students giving a hard time to my friends. I better stop laughing, it will soon be my turn to be tested. Oops.
Sometimes, life just make it seem so hard. As you know, i never wanted to be an 'educator'. Yeap that's actually a word often used to describe teachers as well. But whenever they play videos of 'children struggling to learn despite their disablities & the teachers were having a hard time trying and learning to control kids with Down syndrome, Autism, low IQ etc' or 'teachers touching the lives of students & showing students' gratitude', i can't help but feel like i wanna do something, or even on the verge of tears. We were watching a video on a boy with Down syndrome in school yesterday & watched how the teachers try to cope with him in the class with other normal kids. It seemed helpless at first, the process was long & heartbreaking but finally when they showed him running on the fields during PE & his classmates were cheering for him, that moment freezed for me. I was extremely proud of him & could see how he enjoyed being in school even though he was 'different'. I had an overwhelmed emotion for that second. If i was there & i was his teacher, i would tear with joy & go over to hug him.
Maybe, probably, teaching is one of the most noble, meaningful & overwhelming profession in this world. What you give, you'll gain more in return. U gain a whole load of satisfaction when you see how happy your students are. I know that feeling. Been there & done that. It just becomes something that you feel that they are IN you & you are responsible for them. No wonder you see majority of teachers stay on in this line for sucha long time & never quit. They never say die...I respect them totally.
It's a rewarding profession than any other. In other professions, 'people live for themselves', they work for the money & get the best for themselves. In educating profession, we help people build lives & dreams. That's a major difference.
i cried my heart out at 7:36 AM
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Gee, i told my mommy today that i intend to change my name & instead of saying that i was insane, she said 'if you change into a name that will make your life better, then do it.'
But she did advise, you know why i named you 'Stella'? It means that you are a star, that is always shinning brightly. Well, that is one of the main reason that i find it so hard to part with.
But i did give the reason to my mom that i might be a star, but i'm a star that doesn't seem to shine. I'm hiding behind the clouds all the time. My sister's name Cynthia is different. She is a moon and apparently, there is only one moon in this Earth, so she can be glowing brightly. For me, how many millions, billion, zillons stars are there on this earth and i'm struggling to outshine. I'm a star doesn't have the shine, it just glows a little when it feels like it.
I didn't know that changing a name could put me in such a dilemma. My mom even said 'Why don't you change your chinese name too?' Huh. I was bewildered for a moment. I replied 'if i were to change my whole name, wouldn't you feel weird and won't you be upset? It's a name you gave me.' But as all of you know, i dislike my chinese name too. But i guess changing my whole name would be extreme. I rather change my Chinese name than my Christian name.
I said 'Well, continue to call me Stella & i don't want you guys to feel awkward' and she shocked me again by saying 'Of course i will call you by your new name and i will get used to it in no time. My mommy even said 'Your friends are going to have a harder time to get used to your name than us.' Laughs. Hmm let's just see yea. Haha.
Told her bout the name i decided upon, she doesn't have much objections. Hah.When i told her the meaning of the name she makes fun of me by saying 'Wow, then u will dream alot..' Chuckles...
Gee, i told my mommy today that i intend to change my name & instead of saying that i was insane, she said 'if you change into a name that will make your life better, then do it.'
But she did advise, you know why i named you 'Stella'? It means that you are a star, that is always shinning brightly. Well, that is one of the main reason that i find it so hard to part with.
But i did give the reason to my mom that i might be a star, but i'm a star that doesn't seem to shine. I'm hiding behind the clouds all the time. My sister's name Cynthia is different. She is a moon and apparently, there is only one moon in this Earth, so she can be glowing brightly. For me, how many millions, billion, zillons stars are there on this earth and i'm struggling to outshine. I'm a star doesn't have the shine, it just glows a little when it feels like it.
I didn't know that changing a name could put me in such a dilemma. My mom even said 'Why don't you change your chinese name too?' Huh. I was bewildered for a moment. I replied 'if i were to change my whole name, wouldn't you feel weird and won't you be upset? It's a name you gave me.' But as all of you know, i dislike my chinese name too. But i guess changing my whole name would be extreme. I rather change my Chinese name than my Christian name.
I said 'Well, continue to call me Stella & i don't want you guys to feel awkward' and she shocked me again by saying 'Of course i will call you by your new name and i will get used to it in no time. My mommy even said 'Your friends are going to have a harder time to get used to your name than us.' Laughs. Hmm let's just see yea. Haha.
Told her bout the name i decided upon, she doesn't have much objections. Hah.When i told her the meaning of the name she makes fun of me by saying 'Wow, then u will dream alot..' Chuckles...
i cried my heart out at 7:29 AM
Saturday, October 01, 2005
why do i look sleepy dopey before going out..
why do i look sleepy dopey before going out..
i cried my heart out at 11:45 PM
Giving a sparstic look cos im turning into one
i cried my heart out at 11:43 PM
going out...tata..
i cried my heart out at 11:01 PM
It seems bizzare for two consecutive days i have been coming across on articles that flashed 'Why men cheat? Even if their wives are Jennifer Aniston or Nicole Kidman?' What is the root of this problem?
Curiousity kills the cat. I read it & apparently the articles seemed to be on par with my stance. The word 'Happy marriage' never would exist in this screwed up world. Why are men nowadays finding so hard to resist temptations? I heard from a professor on TV that could be due to the food that we are eating that contains some thing that will mutate the hormones or something. Of course that is not the main reason. Well, ever since men were men, they lust. For me, i believe that it also takes girls throwing themselves at the guys as if they are 'free' or acting pitiful or sweet that would cause them to stray. Who wouldn't like excitement? All men would unanimously agree.
But still, that doesn't mean that i'm on the same side as the men. Never. Because i am a girl. That is the obvious reasons of course. But then guys, don't you think that temptations are out there for all genders? And the girls seem to know and restrain themselves for a word 'Love'. Is there no such word in the men's dictionary, or such that the meaning of 'Love' in the men's dictionary means 'loving every woman on the bed'.
I grew up seeing extremely many examples of men straying, whether or not the marriage was a lousy or happy one. I'm pretty glad to be born in my generation because i could easily guess what's gonna happen to the next generation perceptions of LOVE. Even so, marriage seemed to be pushed back all the way for me. I would only step into it when i think i can bear with such infidelity. Impossible isn't it. Gimme a guy with a halo.
My opinions, men could possibly marry the one they love for a family. But they can never have enough. They pick a woman who can child-bear for them & dote on them, yet the word marriage has no security. Still there are women eagerly getting married, i guess it's because they have a positive outlook or know how to control their husband. Perceptions differ & no one has to think likewise like me. Wedding bells always seem to ring now & then even when women could predict the endings.
i cried my heart out at 8:59 PM