[Stella's daily confessions. I dare to confess, i love to express & i live to impress]

Saturday, September 10, 2005

simply no reason to envy me...

I'm just someone with lots of 'WANTS' in life. Somehow or rather the WANTS in my life has become a NEED. Therefore, when the word 'prioritize' comes into the picture, i have too many 'priorities' trying to squeeze up to the no. 1 position. It frustrates me thou, knowing that i have so much things i wanna accomplish, but not knowing which is more important.

Maybe i am different from the rest. Maybe i am greedy. But the main reason that sparks me to chase after what i need is simply because 'I feel that my life is short.' Hontou ni.

Don't think of me as a rich girl, a princess, a tai-tai (i'm still given this name by many even after we graduated from TP & advanced to NIE) This nick really doesn't suit me. I don't have a rich husband that splurges his hard-earned money on me. I don't play mahjong & buy Louis Vuitton. Instead i'm a independant lady that spends my own dough. Think of me as a dream-catcher.

I don't lead a HI-LIFE by buying branded goods (they simply don't interest me), going for hi-tea at reputable hotels (very seldom), desiring for a diamond ring (diamonds ain't my best friend), gossiping & play mahjong (first of all, i'm not someone who likes to gossip & i'm a klutz at gambling). Call me a new-age woman instead.

I lead a HI-LIFE by knowing what i want & catching after my dreams with a butterfly net. Whether or not the 'wants' are 'needs', i do make sure that they become something i desire desperately for. Maslow Hierarchy stated that people must attain their needs first in order to think of what they want. I do things that make me happy. I'll do whatever it takes to make me happy. Even if it means spending beyond limits, if it's worth it, go for it & the experience will cost more than what it cost you, cos it becomes 'priceless'.

Yea, i'm a small little petite girl who looks like a 'to-fu', but i have big dreams for myself. Dreams that people think it's hard to acheive or different from others. It's alright, i don't mind being different. I'm a 22 that always get mistaken for 18, but hey, looking young is my best assets. And i do think like a 22 even if people disagree.

Those of u i know have priorities for marriage, studies, relationships etc. Me? I have priorities for all aspects. But knowing me, i'm not as lucky as you are in some aspects. So i'm searching for my happiness in other areas, which u shouldn't really envy. I envy you.

Even when my trip to tokyo seems to come true, i still have many other dreams lining up to be fufilled. It's not so simple that when one dream comes alive, i can lay back on my couch & shake my legs. I'm still running..running for the next dream

i cried my heart out at 3:53 PM