[Stella's daily confessions. I dare to confess, i love to express & i live to impress]

Saturday, July 09, 2005

i duno what has happened to me. i've been quite lazy to go out these few days. As in, even the thoughts of going to town doesn't perk me up. I've been getting irritated quite easily too. Sigh. It's a saturday and i opt to stay at home instead. There is really something weird goin on in my mind.

Anyway, i went to NTU in the morning to have a look at my Hall. Its pretty disappointing, i guess that dampens my mood even further. I happened to peep inside one of the rooms and it's pretty small, dark and stuffy. The windows are really tiny. After that, i went Ikea to get some furnitures and came home. Weather was terrible today..adds more to my irritability.

My new life is approaching real soon. I'll be staying far away from home, getting to know a new roomie (pray that she is similar to me) and i don't know what to expect out of my new school workload and my new life. Not so much of anticipation really. What happened to Stella? Hope her quick-temperness will go off within these few days. Well, i guess losing sleep for the past 5-6 days really played a big part. I get so stressed up for not being able to sleep and sleep well. Doc advised me to have good rest but i couldn't.

I guess i'm surprised that i am coping well with my single life. To the extent that sometimes i wished that i'm being left alone, and have time just by myself. I would either choose to go for dance,or if not just stay at home. Life's pretty boring that way..i mean..if i go for dance (its not boring, i think its kinda fufiling) but wanting to stay at home alone (i guess its kinda sad isn't it). That wasn't how Stella used to be. She always can't wait to go out on weekends & prob will sulk if her weekends plans were spoiled.

Seriously i just hope that life would be better for me when school starts.(i know its difficult, but i just pray hard) Maybe i'm moving into the hostel soon & sch is commencin & because i do not know what to expect, it adds up stress that way. I can't be stress, doc said that stress activates the virus in my body rapidly. So unknowingly, what the doc said kinda made me more stress when i am already so stressed. Get what i mean..Sigh.

Haven't been meeting up with Bren & Ceres for more than 2 weeks...so sorry..Gonna catch up with u guys pretty soon this coming week..finally yea. *Something to look forward to.

i cried my heart out at 4:07 AM