[Stella's daily confessions. I dare to confess, i love to express & i live to impress]

Friday, September 30, 2005

Wow, i've totally lost track of time and did not know that i haven't been bloggin for days. But owells, it's boring anyway..as long as it's Stella who is bloggin, its borin, so in other words, i'm trying to put across the message 'don't read!' except for those who are likeable.

It's finally friday! And i spent the whole night unpacking my stuff in my room. It's in sucha mess after i moved all the stuff back from hostel. There goes my freaky friday. *Wails* ..Plans for tommorow? I don't know..

Anyway, i want to kill lotsa birds with one stone by annoucing to all my friends, not fiends that i have decided to change my name. Yup, some of my friends knew about it already. And i would like to change it before i start teaching. Why? Many of you may ask. Hmm, i really hope that i'm not 'Stella' anymore. By givin me a fresh new name, i hope to start off as a new person. U are absolutely right to argue that i need not change my name just because i want to gain a new self, that's where my second reason comes into place. I hate it when people always mispronounced my name. Also, i do not want a name that my students have the opportunities to make fun of. That's it. I'm not explaining myself further.

I do adore my name, STELLA. Especially the meaning of my name and it's sad to part with it. But i guess, it's time to erase it. Certainly changing a name doesn't mean changing or improving one's luck but i do it for practical reasons. I just hope that i will remain the smile i have, each time i look up in the sky, searching for a star (myself). Sorry sis, haha, I can't be beside the moon anymore. (Well, if you are scratching your head, 'moon' is the meaning of my sister's name)What do you think? Mummy will be upset if she know that i wanna change a name that i was born with. Sigh. Maybe she wouldn't, she is kinda open minded bout such things yea.

And nope, i am not gonna disclose the new name here. I guess if i really had it changed, i'm still fine with all of you calling me Stella, well its gonna be a little awkward to call me differently huh. So no worries yea. It's kinda weird adjusting to a new name. :)

I'm baffled that it's the end of the month of September. Which means that i've been single for half a year, 6 months! For what i've remembered, i have never been single for this long after each of my r/s. It's neither good nor bad. It just makes me realize that i'm someone who can be alone. And i'm not eagerly searching. Audreay loves to tell me 'Find a rich man and marry!' but i love to argue by saying 'Asking me to find a rich man, might as well i earn my own money, it is so much better and easier.' Why do i need to 'look' for someone to support me when i'm capable of doing so. Look no further..it's inside me. Haha.

Pen down my thoughts again whilst i have the spare time. Zzzzz.

i cried my heart out at 8:40 AM