[Stella's daily confessions. I dare to confess, i love to express & i live to impress]

Monday, April 04, 2005

How has my new life been?

As usual. Ups & downs. Never a life bed of roses. But still enjoying every single bit i can.

Best friend left, hanging out with my other best buddies, enjoying my hols, window-shoppin, sun-tanning, having supper or drinks almost every midnite with friends, sleeping really late, roaming everywhere in s'pore, do some housework, replying countless sms, gettin irritated by many things & people, catching up with so many people that i've not seen, going to places that i rarely went, going church & cell-group.

The day passed so fast each day and i have to ask for more. Nevertheless, i thank god for the life i am leading right now. Its quite fun & busy, which is good, cos its well-spent. Before i know it, 22 days to my departure. My hopes when coming back from Canada, is to have a new perspective of life and feel much more optimistic about life.

To an acquaintance: Life depicts a play. However, if we decided to take a role in the play, we have to know that this play would never end, and we would forever be stuck in that role. Why want to lead such a pretentious life? Isn't it tiring to pretend to be nice 24/7? Why try so hard? People would actually get turn-off and not appreciate it. Just be yourself. It's sick to see you pretending (panting like a thirsty dog) trying to be nice. Everything comes from a true heart. People can feel it, not see it, if you use your heart to touch people. Time will tell whether you are sincerely nice. It would die off few years down the road if you keep on insisting to act like a saint. Your actions already shows that you are trying too hard to be a saint. No one's a saint. I ain't well-liked but everyone. But i don't try so hard in a pretentious manner. Accept it if they like me, & accept it if they don't. Quit acting. So what if it gains you an 'Oscar award' at the end of the day. The process of being a 'plastic' person gains you nothing.

i cried my heart out at 1:16 PM