[Stella's daily confessions. I dare to confess, i love to express & i live to impress]

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Gee, i told my mommy today that i intend to change my name & instead of saying that i was insane, she said 'if you change into a name that will make your life better, then do it.'

But she did advise, you know why i named you 'Stella'? It means that you are a star, that is always shinning brightly. Well, that is one of the main reason that i find it so hard to part with.

But i did give the reason to my mom that i might be a star, but i'm a star that doesn't seem to shine. I'm hiding behind the clouds all the time. My sister's name Cynthia is different. She is a moon and apparently, there is only one moon in this Earth, so she can be glowing brightly. For me, how many millions, billion, zillons stars are there on this earth and i'm struggling to outshine. I'm a star doesn't have the shine, it just glows a little when it feels like it.

I didn't know that changing a name could put me in such a dilemma. My mom even said 'Why don't you change your chinese name too?' Huh. I was bewildered for a moment. I replied 'if i were to change my whole name, wouldn't you feel weird and won't you be upset? It's a name you gave me.' But as all of you know, i dislike my chinese name too. But i guess changing my whole name would be extreme. I rather change my Chinese name than my Christian name.

I said 'Well, continue to call me Stella & i don't want you guys to feel awkward' and she shocked me again by saying 'Of course i will call you by your new name and i will get used to it in no time. My mommy even said 'Your friends are going to have a harder time to get used to your name than us.' Laughs. Hmm let's just see yea. Haha.

Told her bout the name i decided upon, she doesn't have much objections. Hah.When i told her the meaning of the name she makes fun of me by saying 'Wow, then u will dream alot..' Chuckles...

i cried my heart out at 7:29 AM